This usually only happens when I’m really tired and late at night. Sometimes the realization hits me that, someday, I will stop existing and will never exist as I have up to now. It’s scary as hell especially considering I have existed as long as I remember!
I had a lengthy political discussion with a hardline right-wing co-worker. I would never willingly enter into this kind of thing, but it just happened. So, we are talking, and, at some point, I realized he was not attacking my ideas but the facts upon which they are based. Every fact I sited had been manipulated to make my side come out smelling like a rose. Fortunately for him, the facts he sited were beyond reproach.
I was inspired to write this post by the latest episode of Dan Carlin’s fantastic podcast, Hardcore History . If you are interested in podcasts, history, or even if you aren’t, you should definitely hear at least one episode.
My philosophy is that life is as it should be. This is a problematic assertion since I really believe your life should be what you want it to be. There are two other problems with this philosophy I can’t really reconcile:
I’m having some serious problems understanding many things about Christianity, but this one may take the cake. It’s also somewhat timely since Easter has only recently passed. What is “dying for our sins?” Who decided this act has any significance whatsoever? The crucifixion was going to happen. If you believe in any semblance of free will, it seems obvious that Jesus was killed by the people. Was it an act of convenience? “Sure, I could save myself, but I want to die for your sins!” The whole thing is a spiritual game of Calvinball; why is it surprise that a man-god can triumph in this game in which he invents the rules as he goes along?
I’m having a bit of a crisis. I’m on the tail-end of a vacation from work. Tomorrow is my first day back. I feel like I am betraying myself by working for someone else. I have an abundance of contempt for authority. I tend to work much better under my own terms. I find that I am inclined to do things for myself I would not do or would half-ass under someone else’s direction. Read the rest of this entry »
I find it sometimes difficult to recount how I have come to a particular conclusion. My memory seems to have a very aggressive strategy in place to insure I keep space open for important memories. If I come to some conclusion, I will often subconsciously wipe from my mind the factors that got me to that point. Once I have reached a conclusion or made a decision, it is much less important the factors considered to get there. This can be troublesome when I’m trying to explain my position or when I come across new information. As such, this post may be a little disorganized as I will probably remember things as I go. Read the rest of this entry »
I have a difficult time defining the line at which an artist has “sold out,” but, of this I am certain: it is categorically damaging to the integrity of the artist. Ironic, isn’t it? How can something be certainly bad if I don’t really know what that something is? The answer is in the fact that I do have a loose conception of “selling out” which is admittedly in perpetual flux. I would now say that “selling out” in terms of a musician would be signing to a major record label. It sounds pretty arbitrary, but it really isn’t. What it may be is based on false conceptions of the nature of the music industry. Read the rest of this entry »
I’m always a little embarrassed to bare any of myself. I always feel like the way I think and the conclusions I make about the nature of things are trite. I guess that mostly stems from people making me think that is so. I feel like older people who may have shared your ideals at some point in life believe that you will without a doubt become jaded in the exact same ways they have and end up believing the things they now believe. Read the rest of this entry »