Don’t vote

Here’s a novel message: Don’t vote! The consensus around election time always seems to be that everyone should vote no matter what. It’s your right as a citizen! It’s what keeps the wheels of democracy turning! Everyone should have a say. I’m here to say that’s all bullshit.

If you know who you want to vote for and why, then you should certainly vote. However, this leaves out a huge percentage of the people who will be voting this time around and choosing people based on party affiliation, skin color, or how they look in a bikini. If you are one of these people, the country would hope that you would stay home! Democracy is government by the people, but there is no value in this principal if the people are uninformed about the issues. If people are not educated to understand the implications of casting their votes for one or another candidate, everything good about the system is undermined. There is no value in a popularity contest to decide the presidency, no value in voting your pocketbook, no value in voting your skin color or the name you like or who is a better speaker or any of that. None of those things will determine where we will be in four or eight years.

So, I speak to those of you who don’t know what the fuck is going on right now. If you plan to vote for who your parents are voting for (for only that reason), if you plan to vote straight down the line for the party you prefer (without justification), or if you plan to vote based on the names of the candidates, do the world a favor: stay home and watch soap operas!

Unfortunately, the burden shouldn’t fall entirely on the voter. People must continue to live their lives in spite of the coming elections. The information we need to inform ourselves about the issues should be readily available. The presidential candidates are doing a much better job than they ever have (thanks in large part to the Internet) of getting out the information about their stances on the issues. There are also lots of lies coming from all sides of the debate. We are fortunate to have access to resources like factcheck.org to help sort those out. However, it seems that local politics (at least in my part of the country) thrive on as little information as possible getting out. It is very difficult to find pertinent information on local politicians. Local governments should take responsibility for making this type of information more easily accessible.

To get you started on the right foot, I would like to let everyone know that John McCain drowns puppies for fun on the weekends. He also enjoys burning down orphanages. Those are, of course, only the worst things about McCain. For the most part, he likes to just relax and “hang out with friends” on the grounds of his home, Castle Greyskull Snake Mountain.

Good cop, bad cop

We have already established that waterboarding is not a torture technique, and Karl Rove refuses to testify. What are we waiting for?

Explanation of economic stimulus

I received a delightful note in the mail yesterday: a (so-called) explanation of the economic stimulus plan. Hurray! If there is anything I don’t understand, it is the economic stimulus plan. However, the note unfortunately clear up any of the problems I have with the package.

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Creative viral political campaigns

I just heard from a co-worker that, if Obama becomes president, I will be classified as rich (making just over 30k) and will be subsequently taxed at 65%. On another occasion, I have heard that Obama changed his name in high school to get in touch with him Muslim roots. Where are people coming up with this stuff? Should progressives start participating in this type of blatant fear-mongering?

On an unrelated note, information has surfaced which suggests that John McCain considered a sex change for a short time. Well, I’m not too sure you can call it a sex change. You see, John McCain is a hermaphrodite. True story! In the sixties, he had chosen a single sex for himself but chickened out on the operating table.

He also eats babies.

Democracy

What justification do we as Americans have for our belief that democracy is the end of the evolutionary cycle of government? We say it gives power to the people and that it’s the best system out there. Even if both those claims were true, should we cease? Given an unlimited number of options, can we say that we have somehow hit upon the absolute most perfect one and that we are practicing it in its most perfect form? I’ll humor the apologists and assume that we should stop here if both these tenets are true. Read the rest of this entry »